Networking for Introverts
By Levina Kusumadjaja
Building a network isn’t rocket science, it is essentially making friends with other people. I don’t like the word “networking” because it sounds fancy, complicated, and scary. I like the word “making friends” because I love my friends. The people that I get to spend life with are wonderful people, and I never felt like growing my relationship with them was hard to do.
Last April I took a personality test at 16personalities.com and I found out that I am 94% introverted (to which I wasn’t surprised at all). So, if you are an introvert, I totally understand the fear and anxiety you might be feeling when it comes to meeting new people. But here’s what I want you to do: leave the perception that introverts are bad at communication.
We are not bad communicators at all. Some of the most brilliant communicators that I’ve ever met in my life are introverts. The challenge with us isn’t that we don’t know how to communicate, but our natural tendency is to not engage in a social setting. We mentally recharge when we are alone not when we are with people, so we tend to not have as many practice in making new friends as an extroverted person probably would.
This is why the first step we have to take to get better at “networking” is to actually talk to people, engage with other human beings at a personal level.
You can practice this anywhere you are. You can do this by asking 1 question about someone’s day to everyone you meet—the barista at your go-to coffee shop, the cashier at the supermarket, or the delivery pizza guy. You can also do this by starting in a conversation with people you know from the online communities you are a part of. DM that person that you have been learning so much from on Instagram and ask he or she that question you have been dying to ask. There are no shortcuts to becoming more comfortable with talking to people than to actually talk to people.
Here’s another way to do it: stop seeing people as your sales target.
Remember, you are not trying to sell something, you are trying to make friends and help people. Stop seeing them as people you have to convince, as people to whom you need to prove yourself, and come from a place of empathy. That other person you are speaking to isn’t just a sales target, he or she is a human being that is going through a problem. The best thing you can offer to them at this point isn’t the solution to their problem, but to get to know them (plus, you can’t solve them if you don’t know what they need solving).
A friend is interested about what’s going on in their friend’s lives because they care—not because they want to sell something to their friend.
If you want to make friends, be a friend. What do friends do? They talk. A friend is interested about what’s going on in their friend’s lives because they care. When I see others as people I can serve, the desire to get to know them grows because if I want to make their lives better, I need to know their stories. And the more I actually take the bold step of striking a conversation with others, the more friends I make, and the better I am at understanding how I can help solve their problems.
Cheers!
Levina
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About the author:
Levina is a writer based in Indonesia. Because of Melinda Livsey, she recognized the power of brand strategy for every creative. She is sharing about her learnings as she goes to help creatives have fun in their growth and journey of building brands. Connect with her on LinkedIn and say hi!