The Time I Lost My Dream Client
By Abbye Durr
“We’ve decided to take a different direction and pursue another designer.” And just like that, my dream client left me. I was devastated.
Flashback
Back in August of 2021, I received the opportunity to design a brand identity for my dream client. They were a nonprofit and wanted a new logo to represent the big changes they were implementing, one that encompassed more of their unique personality.
Despite my self-doubt, a resounding “yes” was the only answer I knew to give. I sacrificed my timeline and process to prove I was up for the task, which is how I ended up undervaluing my time and the value of my thinking.
Circle of designer death.
Later in the week, I met with this dream client to talk through my surface level questionnaire - one that provided some context for me, yet zero value for them.
I gathered their project vision, pulled inspiration and went on my own way to design the logo of my dreams. I rushed into execution without setting the foundation.
As my mindset shifted from their goals to mine, the circle of designer death began.
We went through concept after concept. And chased each other’s tail through endless revisions.
The more and more they communicated their vision, the more and more disconnected we became from the overall goal. I felt defeated, incompetent, tired and dizzy.
Spiral of self-doubt.
Eventually, they ended up pursuing someone else to execute their vision and left me with bigger choices to make.
Amidst this uncertainty, my inner critic opened the door and entered saying, “I have no distinguishable value to offer. I am not made to run a creative business. No one will understand what this feels like.”
My voice started to shake.
My hands began to tremble.
The circuits in my brain disconnected and I shut down as I came face-to-face with the lies that kept me from feeling like a valuable asset.
Diving into the problem.
I stepped away from my desk and took a deep breath of fresh air. After giving myself the space I needed, I was able to realize I could take this as a failure or grow from the experience.
I could risk feeling more anxious over all the things I cannot pick apart and puzzle together or I could surrender control over the narrative and be receptive to a newer and truer story beginning to blossom- a story that isn’t built on the framework of my assumptions, but on the edges of broken pieces that are gilded with gold and then made into something useful.
Ultimately, I decided to trust there was greater value to be gained here- for them and for me and I decided to continue taking baby steps forward even when it took everything in me to move.
Finding a better way.
The first step to finding a solution is first: admitting you have a problem and second: believing there is a better way.
And I just knew there was a better way.
What parts in how I interacted with my clients could I have taken more ownership of without taking control of their solution?
How could I have facilitated a process of creative collaboration that served my client and their customers without undervaluing myself?
I sat there day after day with all the fragments of my process laid out. I wanted to level up, but I was left questioning my value.
On my quest for certainty, Melinda Livsey’s voice is one I remember echoing over my fear of not being enough:
“Your greatest asset is your curiosity. You are all you need.”
I remember feeling right at home in the idea that our thinking is what provides value to our deliverables. Our strength lies in thinking through the connection between emotions, imagination and empathy.
A unified community.
This is why I decided to invest in Melinda’s Brand Strategy Bootcamp in February of 2022. I dove in and was unexpectedly met with encouragement from a community of heroes in the same journey.
One thing I learned instantly as a bootcamper is: the community here is a gift that keeps on giving. From someone who told herself she’d never join a “creative bootcamp,” because she’d leave with information overload and no plan of action, well, I am here to admit I was wrong.
A bootcamp (or at least Melinda’s anyway) is just a unified community of people working through similar problems.
The internal shift.
Because of the bootcamp, I began to see the mindset shifts I am making go way beyond the dollar amount I invested. This community helped me realize where I gave my clients the power over my process when all they ever really wanted was guidance - someone to walk alongside them as they find their way.
What if I would have walked into that first meeting with my dream client without any assumptions or ego?
What if I showed up solely to learn about who they are and without having to prove what I do?
Obviously, I can’t change the outcome of the one dream client, but I can change how I approach future dream clients.
The value in full view.
Once the value came into full view, it changed the whole story for me. It changed the course of how I run a creative business. And had I not felt the pain of being deserted in the desert by my dream client, I would not have found the Brand Strategy Bootcamp.
Our ability to find a solution to our problem comes from feeling the ache within us and then trusting a greater value lies beyond.
In the end, it was my experience of rejection that allowed me to show up and be receptive to change. By letting go of my ego, I was able to create more space for humility and curiosity.
Ultimately, I was opened up to a community who understands what it’s like to feel unworthy and deserted, then in spite of fear, chooses to take small steps forward in order to develop better ways to serve our dream clients.
You do not have to find your way alone.
So, if you are faced with a stream of doubts that come from major rejection or a series of no’s; before you spiral down, I hope you look up and remember: you are not the only one that feels this way and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
There’s a community of real, living humans wearing permanent strategy hats who will help you find worth in your thinking, improve your creative process, connect with your dream clients and build confidence in the unknown so you are equipped to solve bigger problems for more people.
Cheers!
Abbye
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About the author:
Abbye is a brand designer in Nashville, TN where she was born and raised a farm girl. She is passionate about helping impact driven brands find their authentic voice, spark their brand personality and build their community. When she's not deep in client work, you may find her splashing in the river alongside her rescue dog Millie, being the fun aunt to her niece and 4 nephews or learning about something new.